Secrets and Sacrifices
by DnKS-giRLs
Summary: A Kanda/Allen AU fic based on the manga. Sequel to Shattered Innocence. Thirteen years, a chance meeting, and some disaster were what it took for all the secrets and sacrifices to be revealed.
1. Chapter 1

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Title: Secrets and Sacrifices

Author: DnKS-giRLs

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Kanda-Allen

Disclaimers: will you believe if we say they're ours? You're not stupid, right? So what use of the disclaimer anyway, it just makes us sick… right?

Warning: OOCness and super sappy and over-romantic and… well… you can say it's a modified soap opera… duh… and it's post Mpreg.

Note: This is the sequel to our story titled 'Shattered Innocence' so we suggest you read that first since none of this will make any sense without understanding what event formerly took place. Oh, and this story is AU based on the manga…

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Chapter 1 - Unexpected Meeting

The scene that time was best to be described as hell. Fire raging everywhere, thick black smoke filled the air, and with the passing of wind, one could vividly smell the scent of death hanging in every corner. The purple sky seemed to blaze with the glow of fire that was consuming the earth below. The buildings that once stood proudly now were only clusters of blackened ruins, dying under the power of the fire and the battle that had befallen over them. And amidst those ruins, there could be seen some shadows leaping and fighting in a sight far too cruel yet nonetheless mesmerizing.

Allen Walker was one of those shadows and this battle was also his battle. Numerous times had he found himself in a battle like what he had that time–a battle between them, exorcists, and Akuma. Numerous times indeed had he been involved in such scene where a village was destroyed and people were killed and hope was diminished. Still, the ache those scenes brought to him did not lessen even a bit.

"Watch behind you!"

Allen snapped from his musing at the shouting. With reflex he developed after years in battle he turned his body and readily slashed the Akuma that was trying to get to him from his blind spot. One down, yet there was still many of them swarming there in the shadow, hidden from their view.

A sound of someone landing on his side made him turn his face. He then met the sight of Kanda Yuu, his partner in the mission, as well as his partner in life.

"How's the situation?" Kanda asked him while his eyes kept alert of their surrounding.

"I sense an amount of fifty or so behind those ruins, but else than that, none." he answered, his head made a vague gesture to a certain direction. "How's the innocence?"

"I have a finder take care of that," Kanda answered. "You go; I'll take those bloody Akuma myself."

Allen frowned, "What do you mean by 'take those bloody Akuma myself'… hey, Yuu!"

He could only watch as Kanda's image became a blur of dark shadow flying in the air. Within minutes he also saw how his partner faced the largest group of Akuma with his sword poised ready in his hands, eliminating them with such determinacy.

Allen sighed. It had happened far too often lately; Kanda would take care in handling most of the battle by his own, no matter that it was their mission and not only his. He knew even if he came there to help, Kanda would surely just shove him away as if he was getting on the other's way.

When the last of the Akuma met its fate on the tip of Kanda's sword, Allen was still standing on his original place, never moving even for an inch. He did not move even when Kanda approached him with his body all bloody and battered. He just watched with an unexplainable expression in his eyes as Kanda cleaned his bloodied sword with a piece of rag before sheathing it back.

"The coast is clear, let's go before they begin attacking again," he heard Kanda say.

"I won't do that next time, you know…" Allen said softly.

"Hn?"

He turned his face to Kanda's direction, "You think I never notice? Yuu, you always do the fighting by yourself. You never let me help. Once I told you the location of the Akuma you'd run head first and eliminate all the enemy without letting me do as much as lifting my hand. We're partners here and I want to be regarded as one so if you can't do that, well, let me tell you this: don't you hope I'll tell you those Akuma's location next time!"

He could see Kanda frowning, "You're being ridiculous."

"Am I?" he sneered. "Well, maybe I am. Maybe everyone will be ridiculous if they are denied of their duties and rights."

"What now, are you starting to turn into a bloodlust idiot who think of nothing but fighting the Akuma?" Kanda snapped back at him and Allen could feel the tension rising between them. But he wouldn't back off. It was never his fault, he reasoned. He only wanted Kanda to see things from his perspective; he just wanted Kanda to know how bad he felt every time he watched him in battle without being allowed to offer any help.

"I can say pretty much the same to you seeing how you always insist that I should 'back off' while you deal in killing those Akuma yourself," Allen glared at Kanda. "I'm sick of watching you without doing anything. If you find my presence a nuisance, just say and I'll find myself another mission where I won't disturb you."

"I won't let that."

"And why won't you let that?"

"Because I want to protect you, dammit!" Kanda all but shouted. A gust of cold harsh wind passed and his long black hair that had come loose from its usual ponytail seemed to flow around his face which showed great concern. "I still can't forget how you came back dying from your mission back then. I thought I'd lose you. I just don't want to lose you so I protect you, can't you understand that?!"

Allen shuddered, not only because of the cold wind but also because of the memory that Kanda's words invoked within him. He too still remembered that mission some previous months back that almost took his life. He remembered how he led the squad of ten finders only to have them being brutally massacred before his very own eyes. Even he did not come back unharmed. He knew it was a miracle that he could live, judging from how bad his condition was when finally the back up squad fetched him.

"But Yuu, that was months ago, I can say I'm fine now," he said with a sigh.

"It doesn't concern whether you're fine or not. The point is, that event made me realize that you can get killed anytime so I just want to make sure to protect you the best I can," Kanda explained.

"That's not how you're supposed to protect someone!" Allen snapped in desperation. "You might protect my body but you hurt my pride and feelings by doing that. I've sworn myself to you, Yuu. I've sworn myself to be with you through everything but if you never let me help you that would mean you reject me."

Silence was the thing that followed after he said those words. Kanda said none as his response to Allen's words. And Allen himself only stood there, offering nothing more to be said.

He could understand Kanda's act. He even could say that he might be doing the same if their positions were reversed. But it was not right. He wished to stand in equal with Kanda; he did not want to always be protected.

A sound of breath being released was heard then coming from Kanda's lips. Allen saw how Kanda's face straightened when he said, "Am I wrong in wanting to do my duty as your spouse?"

Allen gave Kanda Yuu, his spouse, a sad smile as he replied, "Am I wrong in wanting to do my duty as an exorcist?"

"Allen…"

"No, Yuu, please…" he said, turning his back to the other. "I'm sorry, but could you please give me some time alone? My feelings are not in their very best right now and I don't want to have any argument with you."

Even though he could not see it, Allen noticed how Kanda tensed at his words. It was brief though and before long he could hear again Kanda's calm voice saying, "Fine… I'll take care of the innocence. Meet me at the inn tonight."

"Thank you," Allen whispered though he doubted Kanda would hear that for he could sense Kanda's presence diminishing after he finished his sentence. He knew from it that Kanda had left him and it only made his feeling of regret grow. It hurt him too, moreover so when he fully realized that what he had said also hurt his spouse. But still, it had to be said. He told the truth when he said about the feeling of rejection he felt every time Kanda denied his help. It hurt indeed, but it was the truth.

With a final sigh Allen took his depart. Jumping from the building he was currently standing, his feet landed on the blackened soil. He did not have any particular place in his mind to head to so he just let his feet lead him. The feeling of wind against his face as he ran through calmed him and the sense of freedom he experienced soothed his heart.

It was not until he could hear the roaring of the sea that Allen stopped his step. Trying to regain his breath, he observed his surrounding and noticed that he had somehow reached the harbour though it was not really a lovely sight. The sky that time was heavily overcast and the waves rolled so high. Heavy dark clouds promised the coming of an intense rain and he could even felt the tension on his skin.

He could sense a heavy storm coming.

A storm, Allen thought with a smile. His memory wandered off to that certain storm he experienced years back. He could still recall that storm and the series of events that followed. How many years had it been, he wondered. Ten? Fifteen?

No, thirteen… yes, it had been thirteen years since that time.

His smile widened as he remembered every memory imprinted into his mind for the past thirteen years. Happy days as well as sad times, he remembered all. Every coming of a new friend, every falling of another. Every fight he ever had with Kanda and every loving moment they shared. And by remembering them, somehow, he could calm that raging part in him that was evoked by–in his opinion–Kanda's act of betrayal. Sure, he thought, they fought a lot. Sure, he thought, they still annoyed each other sometimes. And sure, he thought with a chuckle, no matter what Kanda would always be a pissed-off sneaky idiotic being.

But he loved that pissed-off sneaky idiotic spouse of his. And he knew no matter how annoyed he sometimes felt toward Kanda, he could not get angry at him. After all, it was the thoughts that count, right? He knew Kanda never meant to do him harm, though maybe he would appreciate it more if his spouse tried to protect him in not so extreme way.

Feeling much better already, Allen turned his face from the roaring sea. He knew he still had to talk with Kanda but he felt that he could do it better now that his feelings were already sorted out. That was what he had in mind when he made his way out of the harbour to the inn, but in the middle of his short trip, he was forced to reconsider it.

Sometimes, he really hated having his left eye.

Cursing slightly, Allen activated his innocence and changed his direction. He sensed the coming of a group of Akuma. Maybe they still did not give up on that piece of innocence, he thought. But soon he found out that his thought was nowhere near the truth.

Allen frowned when he came nearer to those Akuma he spotted earlier. Now that he could see them with his own eyes, he became aware that they were in pursuit of a human girl. The girl he saw was running frantically but Allen knew it wouldn't be long before those nasty creatures could lay their hands on her. So without any time he spared to think, Allen flung himself into the battle. His high adrenaline that had not been by any means satiated by his denied battle earlier added up to his power and within minutes he finished his battle.

When the last of the Akuma had been eliminated, Allen deactivated his innocence and his eyes wildly searched for another enemy that might still be lurking in the shadow. Finding none, he then focused his mind to the human girl he had seen earlier. The girl, he noticed, was curling up in a corner during the battle and Allen was glad seeing that she seemed to be unharmed. His mind gave him some worries, though, like who that girl might be and why she had Akuma chasing after her but at that moment, he gave them no heed and knelt before the girl.

"Are you okay?" he asked the girl who had her face hidden from his view. He observed as the little girl slowly raised her face and without warning, he felt his breath caught in his throat.

A pair of brilliant grey eyes stared back at him and Allen found himself lost within those clear orbs. His mind seemed to stop functioning as time, too, for a moment seemed to halt its step. He could only stare somewhat blankly at the girl, forgetting that there might be more Akuma to come and attack them.

After all, how could he think of something like Akuma if he had his very own little daughter suddenly appear before him?

He did not know how long of a time he spent staring at his Lucy. Yes, she was his little Lucy, no doubt about it. She was his little Lucy whom once he held so dear within his arms. She was his little Lucy who was once taken away from him. She was his little Lucy, that beautiful girl who asked him and with her soft, somewhat quivering voice, "Are you… an exorcist… Sir?"

Allen snapped at her question. That simple question brought him back into reality. He realized then that he had not yet known the reason why she had Akuma chasing her.

"Well, yes, I am… I… maybe you've forgotten me but we've met before, and…" Allen stuttered, already in his heart he was cursing his mouth for its inability to form words right.

"We have…?" Lucy asked and then her eyes grew wide as realization dawned in her. A little smile was appearing on her face as she exclaimed, "Uncle Allen!"

"Yes, Lucy, I'm glad you remember," Allen smiled back at her, trying his very best to control his intense emotions. "And I'm glad to meet you again, though I prefer not with those Akuma chasing you…"

He saw how some shadow passed over Lucy's face after he said those words. He frowned. He did not like the look of it.

"Lucy?" he addressed the girl. His hand reached forward tentatively to touch her arm and he was glad that she did not reject the contact. "I know it's scary for you but I need to know… if you have any guess of why those Akuma chasing after you."

He saw as Lucy bit his lips. He found sadness shown on her face but he did not expect to see so much anger also being displayed there.

"I don't…know!" he heard Lucy said in choked sobs. "They just ruin everything… they just… suddenly came… and they… killed… my family!"

Allen suddenly found himself a lapful of crying girl when Lucy threw herself into his lap and started crying her heart out. He was dumbfounded as his mind trying to process what had been told to him. Those Akuma had killed Lucy's family. Though he never really met the couple that had raised Lucy but his heart ached for them. They were the ones that had raised his child. They were the ones that Lucy had been regarding so long as her parents and he knew the hurt caused by losing someone he loved. He remembered his foster father, Mana, may God rest him in peace. True, they had no real blood relation, but Mana was a father for him and it hurt a lot when he realized he would see his foster father no more.

He wrapped his arms around Lucy's small frame and held her close to his heart. He knew that during the moment like that, word meant nothing. For some pains, only tear could heal.

After some time passed, he sensed Lucy's sobs receding. When he felt that the girl was calm enough, he loosened his embrace and ever so gently he wiped the remnants of tears on her cheeks.

"Are you okay now?' he asked.

Lucy snorted, "No."

He almost snorted back seeing how similar her trait was with Kanda's. "Well, maybe a warm super and a good rest can make you feel better. I know it looks like a cheap consolation considering what you've been through but it's better to mourn with a full stomach… believe me, I've been there…"

He was relieved when he spotted a very thin smile appearing on Lucy's lips. Gently then he helped the girl onto her feet. He was a bit taken aback when, instead of releasing her hold on his hand, Lucy held it even tighter as if afraid that she might lose him. She looked so lost and confused, and all that Allen wanted was to hug her and promise her that everything would be alright, that he would protect her. But, Allen thought, how could he protect her when he himself did not know the full story behind her sudden appearance? He still did not know the reason behind the act of those Akuma. Why they chased after Lucy? Why they killed her family? And more importantly, why was Lucy there? How she could get there? What was she doing there?

So many unanswered questions he had in his mind yet he had no time to think over them since Lucy's voice broke his musing when she asked, "Where are we going to go to?"

Allen thought about it. He knew there was only one place that could offer Lucy total protection.

"Main Headquarters," he said firmly and was surprised when Lucy abruptly tensed. He eyed the girl warily, noticing the sudden fear that was apparent on her face and asked, "Is there something wrong?"

"Don't," Lucy said shortly.

"Don't what?" he asked, confused.

"Don't, please," Lucy now bit her lip, a clear sign of distress. "I… please don't take me to The Headquarters… anywhere but there…"

"But, Lucy, you've been there before… remember the place we first met?" Allen said, he could not understand why Lucy seemed so afraid at the mention of 'headquarters'.

Lucy only shook her head and again repeated with firmer voice that left no argument, "Don't."

Allen sighed. He might not know what her reason was but he knew he would not be able to take Lucy to any place without her consent. And this firm rejection toward the headquarters that Lucy showed worried him.

Yet another question for him to ponder.

"Okay then, I won't bring you to the Main Headquarters," Allen said to the girl and again he felt confusion as the girl visibly relaxed. "Instead I'll take you to some inn where you can have your much needed rest and meal like what I've said. How does that sound?"

Lucy did no answer him but she too did not reject him when he led her walking to the inn where he and Kanda had been staying in over the past few days. As he walked with his daughter, hand in hand, his mind couldn't stop thinking over the numerous why's and how's and what's that he got that day. So many unanswered questions, yet he knew his daughter, his Lucy could give him the answers to those questions. She could, indeed, but would she?

Allen bit his lip. It was yet another question for him to ponder.

- end chapter 1 –

(A/N: So… is there anyone out there still remember our dear old fic, Shattered Innocence? This is the (not so) much awaited sequel… er… yay? Truth be told, we have wanted to write this sequel from ages ago but our thesis forbade the notion. Yet now that we have finished that dreaded thing called university, finally we can write this down and post it. We do hope you have a good reading time with this fic. As always, reviews would be much appreciated. Other things, for instances trashes or flames, would be appreciated too, if only with less enthusiasm. We bid you good bye for now and surely, it is our greatest hope to see you again in the following chapters.)


	2. Chapter 2

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Title: Secrets and Sacrifices

Author: DnKS-giRLs

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Kanda-Allen

Disclaimers: humor us here for this time and pretend that we own them, kay? Well, the plot is indeed DEFINITELY and COMPLETELY ours though…

Warning: OOCness and super sappy and over-romantic and… well… you can say it's a modified soap opera… duh… and it's post Mpreg.

Note: This is the sequel to our story titled 'Shattered Innocence' so we suggest you read that first since none of this will make any sense without understanding what event formerly took place. Oh, and this story is AU based on the manga…

*******

Chapter 2 - Through the Years

Kanda's grim face only got darker as his eyes scanned the bleak world outside the window. Those grey clouds promised the coming of a very great storm. He was usually not someone to be easily affected by weather, but it just happened that Allen had not been back yet to the inn. And damn, he was worried.

He paced some more in that somewhat cramped room that he shared with Allen during their mission that time. A small smile was forming on his lips as he realized that a flying golden golem accompanied him in his pacing. It seemed he was not the only one worrying.

"Waiting for your master, aren't you?" he addressed the golem, not once thinking how crazy that must have sounded: Kanda Yuu talking to a golem. And the golem in question only flipped its wings in a more rapid pace, as if answering his question.

A crash of thunder was heard from the outside and Kanda's frown deepened. He walked to the closed door, thinking of searching for that sprout of his by himself when the once closed door was suddenly opened and he spotted a slightly wet Allen standing on the other side of the door.

"Where have you been in this kind of storm, you idiot sprout?" he snapped at once. True, he was relieved, but he had been very worried, and snapping was the best way to cover it. Kanda Yuu never showed his anxiety. Yeah, never…

Okay, maybe not entirely never…

"Just what did you think you are doing, leaving me to run to God-knows-where when the sky was so dark and those Akuma still lurking there somewhere! You did not even bring Tim! Just how did you expect me to find you in case you're trapped in such dire condition? And now you're back, wet from top to toe, dirty like a dog and…"

"Yuu," Allen sternly cut him halfway. "I know you have a lot to say to me but please, could it wait? We have more urgent business here."

He frowned. He could not say he liked the way Allen cut his sentence but he could see the seriousness behind those grey eyes his spouse had. And suddenly, without knowing why, he felt something constricting in his chest as some foreboding aura filled him.

"What business?" he asked.

He saw Allen stared straight into his eyes before he turned his face to the hallway. With a soft voice he spoke to someone whom he presumed was waiting there since he could spot no one from his point of view.

"Come here, Lucy."

And that was the only thing heralding what Kanda Yuu thought as one of the most shocking revelations he ever experienced in his life. A timid face of a girl peeked into his field of vision. As he saw those grey eyes staring at him, he could not decide whether to smile or to cry as he saw the face of his own daughter after all those years. He could only stare somewhat dumfounded as Allen talked to him in a voice that betrayed no emotion within.

"Yuu, I believe you still remember Lucy," Allen said, placing his both hands on Lucy's slender shoulders. "Something came up and now she's with us."

"Something…?" Kanda said. His eyes looked back and forth from Allen to Lucy. It was then he realized that both Allen and Lucy were wet and that they were still standing on the doorway. With that realization he stepped aside. "Maybe it's better to explain inside."

"Thank you," Allen said as he guided Lucy inside their room, managing to flash a smile to his direction.

"No need to be so formal," he smiled back at them. And maybe it was only his imagination but he felt Lucy's scrutinizing gaze as she walked past him. And what made him a bit terrified was some amount of hidden frown in that gaze.

He shook his head. He was too anxious, it was just that, he thought. After all, how could he be not anxious? He just saw his long lost daughter, coming suddenly to him as if it was a miracle. After all those years… eleven years if his memory did not fail him, now he had his daughter who was once taken away from him appear suddenly before his eyes.

How should he act in front of her, he worriedly thought. Restlessly he turned his head to the direction where Allen and Lucy were. While he was contemplating in his mind, the two had managed to get themselves seated and he watched Allen drying Lucy's hair with a towel. The scene touched him so much. That serene smile on Allen lips, the content look on Lucy's face, the warm surrounding that enveloped them, those things struck him hard and he found it hard to breathe as a certain thought crossed his mind.

It was just like a family.

When he was still amazed at the revelation, Allen caught his gaze. With a smile he said to him, "Why are you still standing there, Yuu? Come here."

"Pardon me," he said as he snapped out of his reverie. He walked to their direction and seated beside Allen. He saw that Timcanpi had already gone before him and was now flying rapidly around Allen, seeming so happy in having its master back. He was also happy in having Allen back. He was elated in having Lucy back! But… there were still some things that made him ponder.

He scrutinized the scene before him. There was something wrong.

"Can we…" he began but stopped for a moment to rephrase his words. "Could you enlighten me about what exactly is going on?"

He saw Allen sighing before he folded his hands neatly on his lap.

"I cannot say I know the whole details myself," Allen said. "When I walked around, I sensed a presence of Akuma. I thought they were still intent on laying their hands on the innocence but I found them chasing after one little girl. Of course I destroyed them and then I found out that it was… well, it was Lucy... and so I brought her here… and, well…that's about it…"

He frowned and carefully examined Lucy with his gaze. It was unusual of Akuma to chase after a certain human being under no command. True, they sometimes chased after them, the Exorcists, but it was because the innocence they had in possession.

Suddenly he remembered something. Innocence. Lucy did have an innocence inside her. He even could say that Lucy _was_ the innocence itself considering the way she came to be born into the world. Could it be possible that the innocence was awakening inside her? Could it be possible that Lucy's presence had already been known to the enemy? But if so, she should be under the protection of the organization, she should not have been running alone like that. And her parents should be with her, unless…

He looked to the side, silently communicating with Allen. The moment he caught the other's gaze, he knew that Allen too had been thinking the same possibility.

"Lucy, may I inquire something?" he dared himself to ask. At the girl's nod he took a breath and braced himself from what he was about to say. "Could you please tell us if we might contact your family?"

At that question he felt Allen's warning glare directed at him. He cared less. He had already suspected that Lucy's foster family might have become nonexistent at that point but he needed to know the truth. And it would do no good to the girl pretending that all was good. It would do no good not mentioning her late foster parents before her under the pretence of protecting her. He knew. He was there long time ago. And if Lucy was indeed his child, he knew she would be strong enough to endure and move on.

And his faith in his brave little daughter was not proven wrong.

"My father and mother have already passed away," Lucy said with faint tremble in her voice. "They were… they were killed."

He saw Allen reaching out his hand as if he wanted to gather the silently sobbing girl to his arms. Yet he stopped his action and folded both his hands on his lap instead. He knew that Allen wanted to comfort their daughter but they both know it was not their place to do such thing. After all, in Lucy's eyes, they were nothing but two people she briefly encountered in her childhood.

"We offer you our greatest condolence," he said. "Though we only have the pleasure of meeting your mother once, we know she is a nice woman. And we believe so is your father."

"Thank you," Lucy said. She seemed to be lot in her thought for awhile before she looked straight into his eyes with new determination. "May I continue my story?"

He nodded and felt proud of his strong little daughter, "Please."

"My father is… was working as a finder for The Western Branch Headquarters of the Black Order," Lucy said calmly but her eyes belied her composure. "And mother helped out too. So we lived in the Western Headquarters ever since I could remember. We… we were happy, really happy."

Kanda observed how Lucy seemed to halt for a moment as if she was lulled by the memory of those happy days long past. For a moment she almost looked peaceful but abruptly she snapped back and her face resumed its prior state of sadness. It was too cruel for a girl her age to be showing such amount of sadness on her face.

"I… they always kept me within the Headquarters," Lucy continued. "I could never get outside without company. My parents too never let me out of their gaze. At first I did not know why they did it… I thought they were only some over-protective parents. I never knew and I used to take everything so lightly until…"

Lucy took a deep breath and clenched her hands on her lap. Seeing that, Kanda could guess what would happen next.

"That day I went outside alone," Lucy said. "My friend was hurt and I wanted to see him. The Headquarters were suffering the aftermath of an attack so the security was a bit lax. I managed to sneak out but I mistook an Akuma for a girl and before I knew it she… _it_ chased after me. I called for help and my parents came but then mother… she was… killed and father got hurt terribly… to save me…"

Hearing the tragic fate that befell upon Lucy's mother, Kanda's face went grim. He glanced to Allen's direction and saw the same dark expression gracing his face. It was always a terrible fate to die by an Akuma and to think that the woman who had taken care of their daughter for years was subjected to such fate made something in him rage.

"Father said it was not my fault that mother died," Lucy continued. "But I still felt responsible. Father also told me that I had a potential to be an exorcist so I underwent the training that the Western Headquarters prepared for me. It was… harsh but I am willing to do it for mother, for father, for people that I love. I thought I could endure anything but… it's still harsh. Then after a moment, someone managed to get me a transfer to Central Headquarters. During my transport to Central Headquarters, some Akuma were attacking us. Father… died in the ambush… and I… ran… I could not do anything so I ran and… I feel terrible…"

Kanda then saw his little girl choking back a sob and Allen quickly drew out a handkerchief from his pocket. Tentatively he offered the white handkerchief to Lucy and the silently crying girl took it. She had to be still in some kind of shock, Kanda thought before he snorted out loud in his mind. Of course she was in shock! Her father had just died and her mother's grave was still fresh. She had just experienced some terrible incident that surely made a major change in her life. She had just been robbed off of her most precious people. She had just seen the cruelty of life before her eyes in such an early age.

And neither he nor Allen could do anything to protect her or to prevent all those things from happening, he thought with a sarcastic smirk. What a set of parents they were.

"Sometimes…" he began, trying so hard to sound calm and compassionate without overstepping his boundaries. "Sometimes the wisest choice in battle is to run. Your father tried to protect you and surely he wants you to survive."

"It's true, Lucy," Allen said, his tone soft. "Your parents are surely glad knowing you are out of harm's way."

Lucy dabbed her damp eyes with the handkerchief one final time before she whispered, "I wish it's true…"

Kanda gave a little smile but an important thought entered his mind. He stared at Allen and said to him, "This inn is not particularly safe. I don't think it's wise to remain here for a long period of time, moreover with Lucy being with us. I believe it will be best if we contact the Main Headquarters and get back there tomorrow, what do you think?"

There were two things following his statement as Kanda noticed. The first was Allen's guarded look and the second was a look of horror passing over Lucy's feature. He did not know what made Lucy possess such expression over the mention of Main Headquarters but seeing from the gist of it, he thought darkly with narrowed eyes, he felt like he would not like it.

"Lucy is against the idea of going to Main Headquarters," Allen explained when Lucy seemed not wanting to speak.

He frowned. He then glanced at Lucy who seemed to stare blankly at her lap. She said they were going to Main Headquarters so why did she suddenly refuse to go there? Then again, why did she suddenly get transported to Main Headquarters? He remembered Lucy said she got some training in Western Headquarters. It was possible that her transfer was to enhance her training.

Kanda snapped at the thought of training. He recalled her words saying that the training was harsh. He recalled the very same words were spoken to him by a different person a long time back. Rinali, he thought with his heart suddenly in turmoil. Rinali said that to him when she told him about her earlier training as a candidate to be an exorcist. And he knew what she meant by harsh training. If the same thing happened to her daughter, Kanda thought darkly, someone would die to pay for it.

"Lucy," he addressed the girl. "Why are you adamant of going to Main Headquarters?"

Lucy was silent for a while before she raised her face to stare right into his eyes. "If Main Headquarters is the same as Western Headquarters, I don't want to go there."

Kanda could not hold himself back and finally he blurted out, "What have they done to you in Western Headquarters, Lucy?"

"They trained me," Lucy said shortly.

"How exactly they trained you?" he asked.

Lucy's eyes seemed to darken with a hint of fear and hatred for a moment before she blinked them away and answered bitterly, "By any means they thought fit but I think it's more appropriate to be called torture."

"Torture?" Allen said in dread. "What do you mean by torture? What have they done to you? Did they hurt you? Are you hurt anywhere, Lucy?"

Under any other circumstances, Kanda might warn Allen that Lucy could see his apparent worry as overstepping his boundaries. But he could not do that for he too felt greatly apprehensive over what Lucy had said. Torture she said. And Kanda could not hold back a shiver of fear when he thought of what they had possibly done with his daughter. Sometimes the Headquarters could be so inhumane in their so called training for the exorcist candidates and that was something he always resented them for.

"Lucy," he addressed the girl. "If you are hurt anywhere we can treat you. It's not good if you leave your wounds untreated. Would you… please let us do that?"

"No, it's okay," Lucy quickly said. "It's just… some bruises… they are healing already. I did not undergo training lately because of my transfer… I'm all right…"

"Just… some bruises?" Allen said in disbelief. "Lucy, they should have never treated you like that. How could they do that? Was there no one to help you?"

"No… I mean… my father tried to help, and I also had my friends with me," Lucy said. "It wasn't that bad when I thought that I still have them with me. And my Godfather helped out too, it was because of him that I could get transferred to escape the training… to Main Headquarters..."

Kanda raised one eyebrow, "Your Godfather?"

"Yes," Lucy said carefully. "General Cross Marian is his name."

At that Allen's eyes grew impossibly wide and he blurted out, "Master Cross!?"

Lucy blinked upon hearing that outburst and innocently piped up, "You know him?"

"Know him?" Allen said. "He is my Master, the one who trained me to be an exorcist. I just… I never thought that he is your Godfather… oh, that old man…"

Kanda saw Allen throwing an exasperated gaze to his direction and he believed he also possessed the very same intensity of frustration on his face. That cunning Cross Marian, he thought with half amused half annoyed feeling. He never guessed… they never guessed that Allen's somewhat devilish Master had been in contact with Lucy throughout the years. He recalled that Cross had said once to them that he would take care of Lucy in his own way. Who might guess that he would do it to such extent as to become Lucy's godfather and guardian? But it was not something they could resent him for. If anything, Kanda knew they should be thankful over Cross' intervening with Lucy's so called 'training' before something worse should happen.

"Uncle Cross told me that I would get proper training and that I would be safer in Main Headquarters," Lucy explained. "Because of that, my father and I were willing to get transferred. But during our way… we got attacked and Uncle Allen saved me… and… and here I am now…"

Lucy released a small yawn after she finished talking and it made Kanda realized that it was getting late. Lucy was surely tired out. And he was also aware that they had not yet had dinner. It was not good to continue talking when Lucy was surely in the need of bath and a hot meal and of course sleep.

He silently communicated with Allen and from his eyes he could see that Allen understood his intention. He saw how Allen gently touching Lucy's shoulder to get her attention and spoke to her gently.

"How about we discuss about your transfer to Main Headquarters later?" Allen said. "For now, I think you better take a bath. I will prepare some dinner for you and afterward you can sleep. You must be tired."

Lucy eyed him for a moment but she seemed to accept his offer. With a slight smile she said, "I think it sounds nice…"

Allen smiled back as he continued, "I don't think we have clothes that could fit you, I'm sorry. But you can take my bed and tomorrow I will try search for some spare clothes, okay?"

"All right," Lucy said meekly, "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," Allen said. "We are happy to have you join us, right, Yuu?"

He smiled lightly as he stared at Allen. Allen really looked happy. And of course he was happy. They were given the chance, such rare chance of something they thought as impossible. To think that their Lucy was once again under the same roof with them, even if they knew it was only for a moment, of course they were happy. And thus, for once he was not at all unwilling of telling the truth.

"Yes," he said. "We are happy to have you join us, Lucy."

"Come on," Allen said, guiding Lucy to her feet. "I will show you to the bathroom. If there is anything you want us to help just say so. I know it must be hard for you and we… we will try our best to help you. Don't hesitate to ask for anything, please."

Lucy kept her silence as Allen helped her to her feet. She kept her silence when Allen led her to a door that would bring her to the bathroom. But Kanda could see something was bothering her daughter. She possessed a look of trouble and discontent on her face as if she had something bothering her mind.

Considering all those, Kanda was not really surprised that suddenly Lucy stopped in her track. He saw as his daughter turned her body to face him directly. And seeing the intensity she had in her deep grey eyes, Kanda felt the shiver that he had been feeling since the moment he first laid his eyes on Lucy that day returned full force to him.

"I have a question," Lucy said in determination.

Kanda did not know why he felt really anxious over what Lucy had just said. But he calmed himself and said, "What is it?"

He had prepared himself for anything that he thought Lucy might ask but he did not really prepare himself for _that_. No, he really did not prepare himself to hear Lucy's slightly trembling voice as she asked him with her accusatory eyes.

"Are you my father?"

- end chapter 2 -

(A/N: So… is that something you might dub as a cliff-hanger? Maybe, maybe not. We do not know. But we do know that we will very much like to hear your comment about this chapter. Thank you for reading the second chapter of 'Secrets and Sacrifices', we hope you had a good read. We wish to see you in the next chapter, of course, and for now, we bid you good bye.)


	3. Chapter 3

*******

Title: Secrets and Sacrifices

Author: DnKS-giRLs

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Kanda-Allen

Disclaimers: Huh? You still don't know that we don't own them?

Warning: erm… Post M-Preg-ness, OOC-ness, AU-ness, angst-ness… with much sap on top

Note: This is the sequel to our story titled 'Shattered Innocence' so we suggest you read that first since none of this will make any sense without understanding what event formerly took place. Oh, and this story is AU based on the manga…

*******

Chapter 3 – Choices and Revelations

Allen felt his eyes widened when he heard the question that came from Lucy's lips. What made her guess about it? Why did she even think about the possibility that her foster parents were not her real one? He hurriedly tried to make eye contact with his spouse, the one that was being questioned by their daughter, but Kanda was busy staring at Lucy with shock and confusion written in his face.

Allen gulped. He saw Lucy openly glared at Kanda like his spouse was someone who committed some great crime, and it must be difficult to be the receiving end of such glare that came from your own daughter. He rarely saw Kanda panicking, but he knew that he was at that kind of state now.

"Why… did you ask a question like that, Lucy?" Allen asked, hoping that the question that had been uttered before was just a curious inquiry because Lucy and Kanda _did_ resemble each other. "Didn't you say that your father was… Oh, er, I'm sorry for reminding you of that—"

"It's okay, Uncle Allen," Lucy interrupted. She did not move her eyes from Kanda. "I did say that my father had died."

"So, why?"

"Before he died… he told me that he and my mother were not my real parents," Lucy said, and Allen felt his eyes widened again.

"He also said that both of my parents were exorcists, and that we're separated by something," Lucy continued, with tremble underneath her seemingly firm voice. "My father asked me to seek them as one of his final request, and I want to know what kind of person my real parents are. At what reason did they let me be separated from them, if they really _are_ my parents? If they didn't abandon me, then father and mother would still be alive now! If they didn't leave me, then all of this mess wouldn't happen to me!!"

Allen felt that his heart torn when he heard Lucy raising her voice and screaming to her heart's content. He wanted to say that no, they didn't abandon her; they didn't want to leave her and be separated from her. But he knew that in the end, he and Kanda did choose to left Lucy's care to her foster parents… at the cost of their lives.

Tense silence wrapped itself tightly between them. Allen couldn't say anything, and he doubted that Kanda was any better--he must be feeling even worse since _he_ was the one being screamed at here. He wanted to communicate silently with Kanda, but he doubted that Lucy would miss the cue that he and Kanda did know something.

"Did you leave me because of Uncle Allen?" Lucy suddenly asked.

"What?" Allen said, while Kanda just frowned.

"I remember that you both are a couple," Lucy said coldly. Now her eyes switched back and forth to Allen and Kanda. "Did you impregnate my mother by mistake and then just give me to other people because I'm an unwanted child, and you didn't want to leave Uncle Allen?"

"You are not an unwanted child!" Kanda suddenly snapped. With that, Allen started to fear that both of them would say things that they didn't want to, and Kanda would spill their secret.

"Then what am I!?" Lucy asked with a high-pitched shriek. "Why did you have to leave me!? Why didn't you protect me like my foster parents!? They were a lot better than you would be as my father! They were there when you're not, they were there when I need help, they were there to protect me with their lives while you're someplace faraway! I bet that it was also your fault that I have a special characteristic that made me wanted by both the order and the Akumas! Why can I just live my peaceful happy life with my old parents?!"

Silence ensued, since both of Kanda and Allen felt that all of Lucy's accusation was what they feared would hear from their child if she knew the truth. It was not long before the silence was once again broken by Lucy's voice. But instead of screaming at the top of her lungs again, her voice broke down into a plea, "Please… Answer me…"

A quiet sob was heard after that, and Allen couldn't contain himself not to embrace Lucy anymore. So he held her tight in his arms, not budging an inch even though Lucy struggled violently in his embrace.

"Listen Lucy," Allen said with a trembled voice. "Please, please don't think badly about yourself. I… We…"

What was it that he should be saying? He heaved a deep breath before continuing, "We… know something about your conditions and your parents. And… We know that you're not an unwanted child."

Allen felt Lucy gripped his clothes and whispered, "Then, what am I to them? What exactly am I to the order? Please, tell me the truth… I… I'm sorry to accuse you both all of sudden so harshly… But, but I…"

He released his hold to Lucy, and put both of his hands on her shoulders. He then looked at the eyes that was so similar to his own and said, "I understand, Lucy. So please, calm down." He risked a glance to Kanda who seemed to try controlling himself. It seemed that Lucy was not the only one that needed some comfort. He squashed the urge to scream, fearing that it would make the situation worse. He hoped that his crumbling sanity could hold on until he had finished diverting Lucy's attention from this delicate issue.

"The matter of this is… top secret for… the Main Headquarters. So, even though the entire people working in the Central Headquarters at the time you're born knew about your secret, we couldn't say a thing about it."

Lucy gave him a glare. "Then just break the stupid rule before I go insane and pry the information from the commanders myself," she said with a scowl.

Allen couldn't help but to smile at the similarity between his daughter and Kanda.

Kanda suddenly voiced a question, "You would go that far?"

Lucy seemed to hesitate for a while, but then she looked at Kanda with a determined face and said, "Yes."

Kanda smirked, and Allen was afraid that he would leak their secret right then and there. But then his face turned grim again and he glanced at Allen afterward, as if silently asking for a permission to reveal what they had hidden for years.

Lucy, like she always did when she was still a baby, picked up the hint that Kanda gave, and now stared at Allen with a pleading gaze.

"Um…" Allen said, suddenly aware that his next words would be the judgment of it all. He gulped. "Er... why don't we discuss this issue at dinner? I think that it might be best if we discuss it with calm heads and well-fed stomachs."

Lucy looked like she wanted to protest, but her stomach suddenly made a gurgling sound. She blushed at that, while Allen chuckled and Kanda's eyes softened.

"Fine!" she snapped. "But don't break your promise!"

"We won't," Kanda said. Lucy stared at Kanda's eyes for a long time, as if seeing whether there's a lie there or not.

"Okay," Lucy said finally. "So, where should I bathe?"

Kanda pointed the door that Lucy was going to go before, "Go through that door over there. Allen, do you mind giving her your clothes? Yours is smaller than mine."

Allen nodded. "Sure," he said, relieved that the situation turned normal again. He rummaged his bag and found the smallest shirt he could find, a jacket, and pants. "Here, Lucy."

As soon as Lucy excused herself and closed the door to the bathroom, Kanda took a long stride to Allen, and then assaulted him with deep kisses. Allen let him, knowing that he also need it to release all of the tension, all of the guilt, all of the regret, and all of the joy that was triggered by the presence of Lucy. They kissed again, and again, with passion and emotion transferred to each other with each one. They broke the kisses reluctantly after a while, afraid that it would escalate into the next level. And while it was tempting, they couldn't really do it with Lucy only separated by a door with them. So Allen just held Kanda tightly, ensuring himself that his spouse was with him now, and that he was not alone to face the dilemma he felt.

"You're wet," Kanda said. "Why don't you change your clothes in the finders' bathroom next door? Explain the situation to them while you're at it. We might need some reinforcements. I'll guard Lucy here, in case the Akuma dare to attack us."

"Okay," Allen said. "But I want to make something clear."

Kanda frowned. "What is it?"

"Are we… really going to say the truth to her?"

"Yes," his spouse answered firmly.

"But the Commanders…"

"Screw them," Kanda said with a shrug. "The only reason why we handed Lucy over was because we wanted her to feel normal before she became an exorcist. Now that she knew that the things had developed into this mess and she wanted to know the truth, why can't we tell her?"

"Yes, but—"

"Are you afraid, bean sprout?"

Allen scowled, but then his gaze turned sad when he said, "You heard what she thought about us, Yuu…"

Kanda was silent for a while, and then he cupped Allen's face with both of his hands. "She's our daughter, Allen, she'll understand."

"I know, but…"

"Allen, what good it would be if we hide the truth forever? Do you want to relive the past when we had to deny that she's ours again? Do you want to reject this precious chance to make her be with us again?"

Allen just stared at his spouse, trying to convince himself that Kanda is right, but Lucy's accusations rang again and again in his mind. And even though he was brave enough to always face death, he found it hard to even imagine that he might be rejected by his own daughter.

"I love her too much, Yuu… I don't think I would be the same again if she wouldn't accept us."

Kanda sighed. He put his forehead onto Allen's and locked his hands with his spouse. Allen closed his eyes at that act, and savored the closeness. He then felt Kanda's warm breath washed his face when he asked, "Why did you have to be so pessimistic if your loved ones were involved, you idiot bean sprout?"

"Well, sorry for being a pessimist…" he said with a snort.

"I'm also afraid," Kanda whispered. "It's almost the same as when you were going to give birth to Lucy. But the bond of blood couldn't be broken down so easily, Allen. She will understand someday, and denying her the truth will be much worse for all of us. She just lost her foster parents, and while I don't think that she will just readily accept us as her real parents, she needs our protection, and she needs to know that someone is there for her. I can't say that all of her accusation is false, but I don't want to repeat the same mistake again. Do you?"

Allen opened his closed eyes and drowned himself into the eyes of his life companion. He then tightened the linking of their hands and said with a smile, "We're in this together, right?"

Kanda smiled back and said, "Of course."

Allen heaved a deep breath. "Okay, we'll tell her the truth, no matter what it would bring us to. But we should also inform Lucy that telling the truth will bring some consequences… I don't know what the Commanders would do, anyway…"

Kanda smirked. "Cross and I can take care of that."

Allen rolled his eyes, but he then smiled to his spouse. He gave a chaste kiss to Kanda, and released their joined hands afterward. "It's good that we could resolve this before Lucy finished bathing," he said. "Well then, I'll change my clothes next door. I'm starting to feel cold."

"I'll wait here," Kanda said after he nodded.

And so, Allen did what he had to do. He went next door after grabbing some dry clothes, and explained to the finder there that Lucy had joined them because of some circumstances. He also asked them to request reinforcements, but left the part that he and Kanda wanted to tell Lucy of the truth. It would do no good if the Commanders knew that they would tell the truth to Lucy before they could come up with something. Even though Kanda had said that he and Cross could take care of that, Allen doubted that the Commanders hadn't think about some counter measures, knowing they had gave them something akin to a heart attack thirteen years prior.

He excused himself to use the bathroom, and there, he changed his clothes and then splashed water to his face. After letting out a weary sigh, he got out of the bathroom. When he came out, he was informed that Lavi and Rinali were actually the ones assigned to pick Lucy up, but they were separated with the finders because of an Akuma attack and that they were safe and on the way there to assist them. Allen sighed in relief, thankful that it was them who would be the reinforcements. He nodded a little to the finders after receiving the information, and then went back to his room.

When he arrived, he found that Lucy had finished her bath, and she stood as far as she could from Kanda. Lucy glanced at Allen for a while, but she turned her face downward after that. On the other hand, Kanda just looked at the window outside and just spare a glance at him when he came back. Both of them looked tense, and Allen couldn't blame them at all. Fortunately, a Finder came at that time, bearing food that he had ordered before he changed clothes.

"Well then, shall we eat?" Allen asked after they were left alone again.

Lucy just nodded curtly, seemingly uninterested, but she eyed the bowl of soup with quite an intensity. Allen smiled, and gave his attention to Kanda afterward, "Yuu, do you want some meal too?"

Kanda just gave him a glance and a shrug before staring at whatever it was outside the window again. It was his way on saying that he was not hungry, and Allen understood why. His usually big appetite was toned down whenever he remembered the situation they're in now, and he guessed that his partner felt the same way too.

Lucy silently ate her dinner. Allen accompanied her eating out of courtesy, but only nibbled a bread slowly to fill his stomach a little without any noise. The silent dinner reminded Allen of how he used to eat whenever Kanda was around after they had just married. He remembered how they had been such fools around each other and so stubborn at that time. He remembered how long it took for them to at last understand that they loved each other.

He smiled bitterly at that. He hoped that Lucy's acceptance to them would be less frustrating and heartbreaking. He could only pray that their determination and love would be enough to ease Lucy's pain over the death of her foster parents, and made them accepted by their daughter.

Dinner seemed to pass too quickly for Allen, and he knew that he couldn't run from the unavoidable when Lucy looked at him with a firm gaze after she stopped eating. He smiled at her sadly, knowing that it was the time to unfold what had happened. He searched for Kanda with his eyes, and saw that he already stood beside him with the similar unyielding expression that was etched on their daughter.

This is it, he thought.

It seemed that Kanda didn't have any intention of telling the truth from his own mouth. He looked at Allen with a meaningful glance, a gesture that Allen understood as a sign that he wanted him to do the act. Allen closed his eyes for a moment, and then took a deep breath before voicing out the truth.

He only managed to open his eyes and uttered his daughter's name before some loud noise reached their ears. Allen's sense, sharpened by his many years of experience in battle, suddenly became alert. He sensed danger, great danger. And Kanda's tense form let him know that he was not the only one sensing it. He had enough time to stand from his seat before an Akuma suddenly broke through their room from the window.

Reflex took over their mind and Allen grabbed Lucy quickly while he invocated his innocence. He saw Kanda had also invocated his own innocence and tried to fend off the Akuma. He rushed out of the room so he could ask some Finders to take care of Lucy, only to find that another Akuma had approached the room from both of his sides. Cursing himself silently because he forgot asking the Finders to tighten up their defenses, Allen murmured to Lucy, "Hold on tight," as he jumped to the air and landed to the back of one Akuma.

"Cross Grave!" He shouted, destroying the Akuma with his crown edge, and proceeded to annihilate the other with the same technique.

"Master Walker, Sir! Over here!"

Allen turned his head to look at the Finders who had called him and saw that they had already erected a barrier with some civilians huddling together in fear with them. Several more people still being ushered there in hurry and Allen swiftly put Lucy there while shouting, "Stay there!"

He did not look back to see his daughter's reactions, his mind focused on searching for Kanda to help him. Allen spotted him already outside the building, fighting the Akuma that had attacked them. He noted that it was a level two Akuma, and without hesitation, Allen jump through the window to assist Kanda.

When Allen dropped himself beside Kanda, the Akuma laughed sinisterly. It took a distance from both of them and said, "Two against one? That is hardly fair."

Kanda didn't stop from attacking it, slashing Mugen every now and then. But as Allen joined him and helped with his techniques, he could saw that Kanda's movement was slower than usual. His wounds from their previous mission seemed to hinder him. The Akuma avoided their attacks with difficulties, and after narrowly escaped Allen's Crowned Clown, it distanced itself from both exorcists with a jump. "I'll show you what fairness is all about," it said.

As it said that, the Akuma disappeared into a puddle. Kanda and Allen didn't have time to react to the new condition before suddenly, that puddle changed into a line of liquid, and similar Akumas emerged from the line. Allen automatically scanned the newly formed Akuma with his eyes, and said to Kanda, "I don't know if those things are illusion or not, but they all connected to the third from the left."

"I'll attack the main one," Kanda said. "Take care of the rest."

Allen nodded, and they both dashed toward the Akumas, with different goal in mind. The Akuma seemed not prepared to be suddenly attacked, and as Allen activated his Cross Grave, he heard Kanda finished the main Akuma with his Mugen.

"Good job," he said to Kanda after they finished that battle. Kanda smiled back at him for a split second, but his face turned somber again when he said, "We better come back to Lucy."

Allen nodded as a response, and he turned away from the fighting area. Kanda followed at his heels, intent on hurrying back to where Lucy was. They both knew that the main target of the Akuma was her, and the people that were with her would also be endangered.

"Lavi and Rinali should be heading here," Allen said to him as they ran. "Hopefully we could get Lucy out of here and make the civilians here rest. It's too much for them to be in this danger because the city had two innocence now."

Kanda didn't say anything, and Allen didn't expect a response. No matter how much Kanda had changed after they had married, he still had the same coldness to people unrelated to him. They didn't exchange any words again since their destination was already on sight. Allen hurried his steps as he saw the Finders having difficulties in fending off the Akumas, while he extended his innocence to wipe out the Akuma in sight.

And then, the next thing he felt was a weight on his back that sent him to the ground after he heard his name was shouted.

He struggled to upright himself, and saw his spouse was the one responsible for it. Allen stared in horror at the blood that was oozing from Kanda's back, and he felt something heavy had slammed his heart when he heard the labored breathing from the Japanese. He snapped out of his trance as he protected them both from the incoming beams, and he searched the source of the attack.

Then he saw them: a level three Akuma, with the Millennium of Earl perched atop of it. Allen gritted his teeth while he still defended Kanda and himself from the seemingly endless beams with his innocence. The Millennium of Earl laughed sinisterly at his predicament.

The voice coming from The Earl afterward sounded cheerful, with a hint of dark evil in it, "Ah, how nice. Two souls united by the holy vow of matrimony are protecting each other. I wonder how the relationship that was so despised by God could possibly produce a child borne from an innocence. It is so… ironic isn't it? But do not agonize. Yours truly would help you in taking care of the irony… by killing the source of irony herself, perhaps?"

Allen growled at the Earl, and he risked a counterattack to the Akuma that was still bombarding him with beams. It fortunately worked, and Allen managed to strike the Akuma and the Earl with his clown belt, making it howling in pain.

"Ah, you young people are so feisty," The Earl said. He had dodged the attack before and stood unperturbed atop of a building. "Your daughter would not like it, I guess? But well, to give you credit, perhaps she never quite liked her life from the start. To know that she is not normal, that her parents are both males, that she was conceived in such strange and perverted way… oh, what a terrible, terrible reality. It's enough to scare some little children off."

Allen felt his blood boiling with the taunts. It made him attack them more fiercely with his anti-evil sword, which was avoided skillfully. The Earl laughed again before saying, "She must hate herself because she was borne in an abnormal way. Why don't I help you spare the drama by killing her?"

"Do not touch Lucy!" Allen shouted between his attacks. And then he heard a familiar sharp intake of breath. He turned his body in surprise, and cursed himself for not noticing.

Behind him, he saw Lucy looked at him with shock written on her face, a guilty looking Finder followed her in tow. Her voice was soft, but he could hear her said, "You… are my parents?"

-end chapter 3-

(A/N: we deliver you chapter three and with this please allow us to apologize for the somewhat crappy action scene. We would like to give our best to our readers and we indeed have tried our best but it seemed we are not suited to write some action scene so please excuse us. Those aside, please let us know your comment on this story and this chapter in particular. We hope to see you again in the next chapters but for now, farewell.)


	4. Chapter 4

*******

Title: Secrets and Sacrifices

Author: DnKS-giRLs

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Kanda-Allen

Disclaimers: Ah well, we own them in our dreams…

Warning: Post M-Preg, OOC all the way, AU, angst, and lame action scene

Note: This is the sequel to our story titled 'Shattered Innocence' so we suggest you read that first since none of this will make any sense without understanding what event formerly took place. Oh, and this story is AU based on the manga…

*******

Chapter 4 – Findings

Allen blinked back his shock at seeing Lucy, and tried not to panic. It was a battlefield and her safety exceeded the value of everything else. "What are you doing here?!" he shouted. "It's dangerous! Come back to the other Finders!"

Lucy did not answer, seemingly still in shock of knowing the news. The Finder who accompanied her answered in rush for her stead, "I'm very sorry, Sir. She suddenly ran out when he saw your partner was wounded, and she grabbed some of our equipments. We'll—"

At that time, Lucy suddenly opened her mouth and shouted out, "Look out!"

Allen turned to see a beam was being directed to them. Hastily, he utilized his innocence to deflect the attack. It worked, but the Akuma didn't stop. Accompanied with a sinister laughter, it howled, "I'll get you back for your attack!"

Frankly, Allen did not know how much longer he could hold on at the incoming attacks that bombarded him. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Lucy and the Finder building a barrier to protect themselves and Kanda. He saw his daughter calmly did the procedure and felt proud at her, but also remorse. What kind of training had she had, he wondered, so that she could do all the procedures calmly like it was nothing, even with all the pressure around her? What did they do to her?

He banished his thoughts, and said to himself that it could wait. Every explanations, questions, and revelations could wait for a while. For now, they had to try to survive.

The Akuma seemed to notice what they were going to do, and it suddenly stopped its attack. It then approached Allen with a speed that he could hardly follow and then attack him with a slash that almost cost him one of his limbs. Allen dodged the Akuma and tried to counterattack but his own speed couldn't match it. The Akuma then managed to steal a moment where he was caught off-guard and slashed his torso.

The slash was shallow, as Allen could somehow avoid the fatal attack, but his staggers after the hit gave the Akuma an opening to beam at the half-built barrier.

The Finder noticed that and protected Lucy. He did manage to save Lucy from imminent threat, but the attack grazed Lucy's arm. Allen felt a tug in his heart when he saw blood spilled from his daughter's arm, and cursed as the Akuma prepared to give another attack to them. Fortunately, he could manage to extend his clown belt and deflect the beam so it didn't hit his companions head-on, but it was close.

Allen shouted, "Cross Grave!" as he pounded back the Akuma to give a distance between it and the people he had to protect. The attack connected wonderfully, and the Akuma was thrown aback to the ground some meters away from them. The Akuma gave a yowl of pain, but to Allen's frustration, the attack didn't destroy it.

He prepared himself to give the Akuma a more fatal attack but a shriek of pain, Lucy's shriek of pain, reached his ears. A struck of fear caught him and even though he knew he was in the battlefield, he pulled off his attack to check on his daughter.

"Lucy!" he shouted in panic as he ran to her side. He searched for something that might hurt the girl to make her yell like that, but he didn't found anything else than the wound in her arm. He felt something gripping his chest when he thought that maybe the wound was poisoned with Akuma's virus, but he couldn't find any pentacles that sign the infection. The attack might not contaminate Lucy with any virus, but seeing her reactions, he didn't know what to think of the situation. "Are you alright? Where does it hurt?" he asked in panic.

Before he could have an answer, he sensed the Akuma had stood up again, looking even more dangerous than ever. It seemed angry, and it said, "That… hurts. I guess I have to be more serious then."

Allen cursed as the Akuma slammed its body to him, forcing him to be separated from Lucy. He hissed in pain when it knocked him to the nearest building and bombarded him with beams as soon as it could have a distance with him. His body ached all over with the impact, yet he somehow managed to pull a defense from the beams with his innocence. He wanted to counterattack like before, but the increased strength of the beam made it hard to do so. And it's hard to concentrate when he could still hear Lucy's pain-filled cry in the distance.

He took a deep breath and pulled all the courage that he still had inside. He had to save his beloved companions. There's no room for panic or second thoughts, he would give it his all, and sacrificed himself if needed. He then braced himself to move forward with his innocence cloaking him as defense.

However, before he could do it, Lucy's cry of pain stopped. Allen blinked in surprise, his concentration breaking, and the Akuma didn't stop attacking him. He defended himself to the attack just in time, but the four-level building near him didn't survive it and crumbled atop of him.

He managed to avoid being severely injured, but Allen hissed in pain as he felt something in his body cracked when it happened. But he didn't care about himself at that time. With a force that he could come up with only in time of crisis, he wiped out the remains of the building off him with his innocence. He frantically searched for the presence of the Akuma, just to find it in front of the now crumbled barrier. Its hand positioned too close from his daughter's forehead.

He dashed to the direction where Lucy was standing, and thought hard on how to separate Lucy from the imminent danger in front of her. The finder that was protected Lucy before couldn't seem to snap out of his panic, and he couldn't possibly built a new full fledged barrier with the close proximity between the Akuma and Lucy.

It was up to him now, but when Allen extended his clown belt to knock back the Akuma, it seemed too slower than it should be. He was still so far, _too _far, and before he could connect his attack to the Akuma, Allen saw it smirked.

And then, it happened so quickly in front of his eyes.

Lucy suddenly wiped the blood from her injured arm, and put it to the Akuma's offending wrist. Allen did not know what happened, but just with that, the Akuma howled in pain. He didn't waste time in following up the incident, not minding at all how it happened. Not right now.

He slashed the Akuma with his clown belt, sending it flying, but it managed to stop itself from striking the nearest building. The Akuma growled at them, and Allen saw that the hand that almost endangered Lucy before was not there anymore. There was only a blackened stub on the place which had a moment before been the Akuma's hand. It wsalmost as if an innocence had destroyed a part of the Akume's body.

With that, realization dawned on him. Allen allowed a small gasp of surprise and turned to look at his daughter.

"Your blood… is your innocence?" he asked in a daze.

Instead of answering his question, Lucy said, "It's coming."

Allen snapped back to face the now furious Akuma. He noticed that it had managed to re-grow its hand and now slashing them with it. They both jumped back to avoid it, minding the Finder that still clumsily worked with the barrier device and his spouse that was yet to be conscious. Allen lured the Akuma to attack him quite far from them, but keeping sure that he could still saw them. From the corner of his eyes, he saw that Lucy took his lead.

Hoping that Lucy could catch on his cue, he raised his chin and tilted his head a little to the direction of the Akuma's back. The girl nodded, and Allen couldn't help to smile a bit at her before he focused again to the task at hand. He defended himself with his innocence, and as the Akuma raised his hand again to attack, he found an opening and counterattacked it with a slash. When the Akuma staggered, Lucy dashed to the back of the Akuma, and wiped her blood there.

The Akuma howled in pain, and Allen used that opportunity to slash it into two with his anti-evil sword. The attack worked perfectly, and the Akuma was torn into two parts. However, before Allen could feel any relief, the parts meshed again into one. The Akuma laughed and said, "Try again, exorcists!"

Allen cursed and avoided the attacks that the Akuma gave, and saw Lucy did the same. As he did it, he thought hard about how to kill the Akuma. It seemed that the ability of the Akuma was to repair itself again after being attacked, even with his sword, so he had to think of a way that could destroy it completely. But he didn't know what to do, since he had to admit he didn't have that much man power at hand, and he also didn't know the extent of Lucy's ability.

He glanced to Lucy, and saw that his daughter looked distressed as she barely avoided the attacks of the Akuma. It was not uncommon for a first battle with an Akuma; on the contrary, Allen would wonder what Lucy had experienced if she remained calm until the end of the battle. The way that Lucy could handle her first battle now had already made him worry about what she had faced.

Throwing that thought to the back of his mind, Allen pulled a more important train of thought. About what should he do right now. He knew that if this went on, they wouldn't win, and reinforcements might not come at time. He had to think something quickly, and he started to sort out his own experience battling with Akuma as he tried to counterattack again but still failed to destroy the Akuma. It was his first time battling something like this, but there must be something—

His thoughts were interrupted when an attack from the Akuma finally connected to Lucy. "Lucy!" he shouted, as he saw his daughter thrown aback from the impact of the attack. He slashed at the Akuma into a few parts with his sword for that, only to see it easily recovered again. The Akuma laughed at his desperation, and he gritted his teeth before launching another set of attacks to it. It seemed a bit surprised at his sudden aggressiveness, and that moment of surprise was used by Allen to throw it to a ruin of a building nearby with his clown belt.

Before the Akuma could catch up to him again, he checked Lucy's condition. The girl seemed to be in pain, but when he reached her, she already stood on her feet, though a bit unsteadily. Blood pooled from her back and forehead, and she cradled her bloodied arm, yet she did not tremble a bit when she said, "What do we do now? Our attacks seemed not working."

Allen couldn't hold back a small wry smile and said, "I honestly don't know." He sighed and continued quickly, "I need to know how your innocence works first."

Lucy lowered her face and bit her lip. Her voice cracked slightly and it let Allen knew that even though Lucy seemed strong on the outside, there still lurked some hidden fear within her. "I… don't know. This is my first time activating my innocence…"

"Try to search within you," Allen advised quickly, his eyes were busy scanning the area if the Akuma suddenly decided to strike again. "We, exorcists, are connected to the innocence we wield. Your innocence would show you."

Lucy went silent for a moment and afterward she said, "My mind told me that everything that my blood touches would be harmful for the Akuma. And I might work out a blood spell."

Allen blinked in surprise at that, and then he remembered a battle that Kanda had told him before. He smiled triumphantly, desperation backed out from his mind, but before he could relay his plans to Lucy, the Akuma finally broke out from the building ruins. It yelled in rage, "I'll kill you, exorcists!!!"

As he defended himself and Lucy from the bombarded beams that was shot by the incoming Akuma, he said to her, "I'll try to pin him down, please distract it."

Lucy nodded, and she picked up some light stones in the ground. She stained it with her blood, before dashing to the side. She threw the stones to the Akuma afterward, and it yelled in pain then looked at Lucy with anger. Allen used that moment to pin the Akuma to the ground using his clown belt. "Make it drink your blood!" Allen shouted to Lucy.

His daughter didn't waste any time to do it, and Allen saw the Akuma writhing in pain as Lucy poured her blood to its mouth. It struggled beneath his innocence, but Allen managed to hold on barely, before finally, the Akuma howled a shriek and disintegrated.

Allen almost gave a sigh in relief with that, but his sense told him that something was still not right. When he heard the sound of a clapping and looked at the source, he knew what was wrong. The Earl of the Millennium was still there.

"Interesting," The Millennium Earl said. "You have such a talent, child. And now… I really want to destroy you…"

Allen reflexively stood in front of Lucy, and took a glance at the direction where the barrier that protected Kanda had now stood. His spouse didn't look like he was going to get up soon, which was quite odd, but Allen figured that all of Kanda's paranoid protection to him must have taken its toll right now. At least, the Finder that was so panicked before had built a stern barrier to protect Kanda.

He focused again at the Millennium Earl and saw that he was calling a large number of Akuma. A quick assessment using his cursed eyes told him that most of them were level two, while the rest were level one. He wanted to get Lucy out of danger and told her to stay with Kanda and the finder, but the enormous amount of Akuma that the Earl had called erased the thought from Allen's mind. If they wanted to survive, he had to ask for his daughter's aid.

"Can you still fight?" he asked Lucy.

"I can. I want to destroy them," she answered.

"I understand, but don't get careless. I don't want to lose you."

Instead of answering, Lucy pulled out two knives that she had hidden in her shoes, coated the blade with her blood, her eyes never leaving the horde of Akuma that started to come their way. Allen sighed wearily inwardly, but he followed Lucy's example and alerted himself for the incoming battle.

Allen felt that his heart almost stopped when Lucy dashed to attack the nearest Akuma before he could say anything else, but he marveled the way that Lucy easily moved to destroy them. He got no chance to stare at his daughter's proficiency in battle for long though, since he saw some level two Akuma targeted Lucy. He slashed some of them with his clown belt, and in the corner of his eyes, he saw Lucy drawing a symbol of some sort in the ground with her blood. Allen smiled proudly when he saw red bullets erupting from the symbol and blasted the level two Akuma, and he did a follow-up to finish them with his belt.

Kanda must be jealous if he knew this, Allen thought as he stationed himself to guard Lucy's back, well, it was his fault to overexert himself in the first place.

He slashed another Akuma with his clown belt, and heard clink of knives at his back, indicating Lucy used it to attack some Akuma. He saw Lucy slashed a level two Akuma into destruction with his peripheral vision, and he couldn't help admiring the strength that she possessed, a part of it possibly coming from the hellish training that she had endured.

He gripped his sword tighter and leashed his frustration to the Akuma.

The Akuma still seemingly endless in number, and it might be good for Allen to exorcise so many Akuma, because with every swing, he could pour out anger at the higher-ups at that Headquarter who had made Lucy went through such training that seemed to be traumatic for her. It would also good for him because he could finally find some bond with his daughter, as they battled together. And knowing that he could still feel the bond as comrades with her, eased his anxiety a bit upon the possibility that Lucy might reject him and Kanda as her parents.

But at the back of his mind, he knew that no matter what kind of Spartan training that Lucy had gone through and no matter how in sync she was with the innocence, she must have had some limit considering it was her first time activating her innocence. It was amazing enough that she apparently possessed that kind of level to destroy those Akuma so easily, much less the endurance to keep fighting this long. The labored breaths that he heard coming from Lucy indicated that she was teetering on the edge of her limit. And her face contorted with something that told Allen that she was in pain, maybe from battling herself to not let the strain from using the innocence get her.

Allen could still fight, but he doubted that Lucy could hold on much longer. Considering the stubbornness that Lucy showed when they fight the level three one, she would not back down from the fight. So, he had to hurry to finish this.

Allen jumped into a horde of Akuma, and slain a massive amount of them, before jumping to another one in quick succession. He destroyed a vast amount of Akuma with that method, all the while keeping his eyes on his daughter. However, it still could not prevent Lucy from collapsing not long after that.

"Lucy!" Allen shouted as he grabbed Lucy with his clown belt. He held her close to his chest, and felt her rapid breathing. He let his innocence cloaked him as a perfect defense to destroy the Akuma, and not for the first time, grateful that he could use that technique. But still, he thought, the condition was bad.

"Allen!"

Allen looked at the source of the voice, almost face palming at what he saw if not for the need to slash another Akuma. Kanda had finally decided to wake up and was making his way to him. The amount of blood that dripping from Kanda's body didn't assure Allen at all of his condition, and just made him feel that the condition would be worse if his partner refused to back down from fight.

Allen stepped to Kanda's side to aid him, gently shifting the hyper-ventilating Lucy in his embrace. "Just go to the back row to protect our daughter, Yuu," he said to his partner, while slashing the Akuma with his free left hand. "You're in no condition to fight with your wound like that. You're just going to be unconscious again. That's what you get from playing hero and not letting me help you in the previous mission."

Kanda grumbled. "No," he said. "You are the one who should go to the back row."

Allen sighed again. "And let you die in the front? No way. I don't want to fight with you again, moreover since Lucy's here, but seriously, did you forget what I said to you last time?" He slashed some Akuma before continuing, "We're equals, Yuu. Especially when there's our daughter that we should protect." He glanced to Lucy who seemingly in verge of unconsciousness.

Kanda continued to destroy a batch of Akuma, but he glanced at Allen afterward. "Fine," he said after a growl. They took a shelter from the attacks behind the ruins of a building, where Kanda gently took Lucy in his arms. He then whispered to Allen, "You better be alive. Lucy needs you."

He smiled at him and whispered back, "She needs _us_."

Kanda nodded and smiled back at him before carrying Lucy to the barrier that was now stood sternly. Allen focused to his battle again after Kanda had left, slashing here and there before an idea struck him. The Millennium Earl controlled all of the Akuma, right? So then, if he attacks the Earl, then there was a possibility that he couldn't call any other Akuma reinforcements. The Earl might be too strong for him, but he had to try. There was no way he could manage fighting all day long like this.

With a new goal in mind, Allen searched for the fat Earl. The Akuma that was attacking him distracted him a bit though, and the Earl couldn't be seen anywhere in plain sight. Feeling quite desperate in his search, Allen then thought that he would use his left eye to try pinpointing the Earl's location. His left eye wouldn't help him much, since the Earl was not Akuma itself, but Allen thought that it wouldn't hurt to try. He took a deep breath and concentrate to activate another level of his eye. A familiar vision was seen as he did it, and he saw that a large number of Akuma were seemingly circling around a building.

Allen turned himself to that direction, and found a sinister presence also eyed him from a window in the building. He smirked, satisfied that he finally found his target, and prepared to leap to the building.

However, he was stopped by sounds of yelling.

Allen turned in horror, and almost fell victim to an attack if not for his innocence that cloaked him. He hastily went back to the place where an expressionless Lucy was now stood, her lithe fingers incessantly drew some complex symbols in the air. Her body shook, and blood spilled from her wounds like a stream, but she didn't stop conjuring it, even though Kanda and the Finder were yelling at her to stop. Allen gritted his teeth as he saw that she even tried to attack Kanda when the man tried to shake the girl to her senses. Something was wrong.

The girl had wiped out the Akuma that surrounded her, so it was fairly easy for Allen to approach the area. Kanda was calling at her daughter with her name a few times when Allen reached them, but it seemed to be fruitless.

"What had happened here?" he asked. No matter how badly he wanted to stop the girl, he must know the condition first. Seeing her daughter's condition, it would be best if they proceeded with caution.

"She tried to get up, sir, saying that she didn't want to feel useless any more," the Finder said. "So I said to her to leave the extermination of Akuma to you both, as she seemed not in any condition to fight anymore. And then she snapped, and told me that she could still do it, even though she was clearly in pain. I beg her to stop thinking about that, but then she knelt, with her hand on her chest. And suddenly, she stopped gasping for breath and started to draw the symbols like now, sir."

"I saw that and tried to stop her," Kanda cut in. "But she didn't seem to listen to any of my words, and she looked like she's in a trance. I'd tried to stop her but she attacked me when I grabbed her wrist. Just now, like you must've seen, she didn't even answer to me calling her name."

More Akuma met their demise under Lucy's attack and Allen could only stare, hopeless, at his daughter's seemingly expressionless face. She seemed unaware of the wounds covering her body. She seemed not minding about her surrounding. She seemed so ethereal somehow, almost as if she was not a being of the earth. It was almost as if…

"It's the innocence," Allen whispered in desperation mixed with awe. "It's the innocence taking over her… oh God…"

"Is that thing possible… I never heard any exorcist to fall under the innocence's control until this extent…" the finder tried but Allen cut him off.

"Lucy is not merely an exorcist!" he said. And when his eyes met Kanda's, he saw the dawning comprehension on his spouse's face. Yes, he thought as he bit his lower lip, Lucy was no mere exorcist who wielded mere innocence. She was an exorcist and she was an innocence. "Lucy, are you there?"

There was no response. Allen grew even more panicked and almost dashed forward to grab his daughter, not minding even if she decided to attack him, but Kanda's hand landed on his shoulder and his deep voice addressed their girl.

"Innocence," he said calmly and finally, there was a reaction coming from their Lucy.

"Exorcists," a voice that sounded like their daughter, yet too monotonous to be her said. The face was turned to their direction, finally seeing them even though she did not even once stopped her action, delivering her attacks to ward those Akuma off. And even though Allen was thankful that those spells managed to keep them away from those Akuma, he knew his daughter's body would not be able to take the strain for much longer.

"Stop, please… you are hurting Lucy," he said.

"That is not of your concern, exorcist," the same monotonous voice said.

"It's our daughter's body, damn it!"

"Innocence has the duty to exterminate Akuma. Exorcists have the duty to wield innocence and eliminate the darkness. You should give your assistance in vanquishing the demons instead of questioning the conduct."

"We can't concentrate with Lucy's condition like this. So could you please stop and just leave it to us?" Allen tried, feeling a bit stupid for trying to strike up a conversation with an innocence going rampant.

"There is no reason for that," She drawn another symbol, and continued, "You, exorcists, are given the trust to handle innocence. You, exorcists, betrayed the trust. You, exorcists, are giving up the innocence. You, exorcists, are giving up this girl, failing to protect what you have to protect."

Kanda and Allen's eyes met, and Allen held the other man's hand. "We are very sorry for that," Allen said. "We are wrong to think that giving her time to feel normal would be the best for her. We don't know that you chose us with that reason. So please, trust us on this."

"If the situation proves to be beyond our ability and there is the need to protect Lucy, we would not hold you back from coming back to keep her safe," Kanda added.

Lucy, or perhaps more accurately, the innocence fell silent for a while. After a heartbeat, it said, "Innocence has the duty to exterminate Akuma, but only in the hands of exorcists shall the innocence be utilized. You are given the absolution and you shall once again receive the trust, exorcists, be grateful of that," she turned to see Kanda and Allen, and continued, "Mercy would not come easily for the second time, exorcists."

And with that, she collapsed.

Allen caught her and let out a relieved sigh, which made Kanda snorted. "It's too early for that, bean sprout," he said, his chin pointed at the horde of Akuma that were not so subtle in showing that they wanted to crush them. Lucy had managed to halt their attacks before, but now that she was unconscious it was left to them.

"But Yuu," Allen said with a smile, his clown edge was already readied for battle. "Isn't this nostalgic? It almost seemed like that particular day."

Kanda glanced at the black clouds that were still overcastting them and said, "And it looks like storm promises to come again. Do you think we could make another child again after this?"

Allen laughed. He watched a number of Akuma coming to them, and ignoring them, he retorted, "Maybe not," then he continued with a seducing smile, "But we could always try."

Kanda smirked and said, "I'll hold on to your tempting words, bean sprout. So don't die on me."

With his eyes fixed to the incoming enemies and hand poised to slash them, Allen said, "You too."

However, before he could launched his attack, a yell could be heard, "Go ka kai jin! Fire seal!"

In a surprise, Allen dropped his battle stance. He turned his head to look at the person who just helped them destroy the Akuma in front of him. "Lavi!" he called with joy.

"Yo!" His friend answered. But Lavi's cheerful expression changed to a pained one when a sword hilt was thrown to his head.

"That's for coming in too late and barging in at a good point," a seethed Kanda said.

Lavi grumbled at the unfair behavior, but his voice was drown out when Rinali stepped beside him and said, "We're sorry!"

Allen chuckled as Kanda looked like he wanted to say another sarcastic remark, but he stopped and narrowed his eyes when he heard a sing-song voice floating in the air,

"Well, well. Looks like you got reinforcements," the overly cheerful tone of voice that could only belong to The Millennium Earl said. Even thought the voice was close, Allen couldn't pinpoint where the source was. "This is no good… no good at all. Too bad, I thought we could play all day but your friends just have to ruin our lovely private chit chat. We just have to continue this some other time, I guess… farewell, exorcists, be sure that I look forward to our next meeting, and your demise."

At that, Allen growled in frustration and heard his spouse did the same. But oh well, he thought, as he activated his left eye. "There are probably about twenty Akuma left, most of them are level twos," he said, sharing his analysis to his friends.

"Good," Kanda said. "Then we'll leave it to you."

Allen raised an eyebrow. "We?" he said. "_You_ stay here, and _I_ help them."

"No," Kanda said defiantly, while yanking Allen to the ground with him. "You're staying here with me."

"Aww…" Lavi chimed in. "Look at the lovey-dovey couple."

"Shut up, Lavi," Allen said with a grumble. He then peered at Kanda who was now looking too pale to be good. "Fine. I'll stay here, I leave the rest to you."

Rinali smiled. "Sure thing, Allen," she said, before taking off with Lavi to do their jobs annihilating the rest of Akuma.

Allen watched them leave, but then he felt a head dropped at his shoulder. "Geez, Yuu," he grumbled. "What make you behave like a spoilt child?"

There was no answer from his spouse.

"Yuu?" Allen asked. He frowned and hit at Kanda's head gently, before pinching his cheek quite hard. Still no response. Panicking, Allen checked his spouse's breaths and pulse. He sighed in relief when he heard both were still there, albeit a little weak. It seemed that Kanda was unconscious.

"Idiot," Allen said with a fond tone. "I'll lecture you to take a better care of yourself after this." He glanced at their daughter then continued, "After all, we have to be a good role model for our child, right?"

-end chapter 4-

(A/N: we… simply have no reason for this. It seemed we have created a Mary Sue character with Lucy, she fits all the criteria. She is an original female character, she has close relationship with canon characters, she has special ability, she has dark past, she is beautiful. Oh gosh… we thought we're way past our time writing Sue fic. Anyway, please let us know your comment, whether it's good or bad, about this chapter. Thank you for sparing your time reading this story. We hope you had good reading and if you did not, we offer our apology. Farewell for now, and surely we hope to see you again next chapter.)


	5. Chapter 5

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Title: Secrets and Sacrifices

Author: DnKS-giRLs

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Kanda-Allen

Disclaimers: Ah well, we own them in our dreams…

Warning: Post M-Preg, you might view this as OOC, AU

Note: This is the sequel to our story titled 'Shattered Innocence' so we suggest you read that first since none of this will make any sense without understanding what event formerly took place. Oh, and this story is AU based on the manga…

*******

Chapter 5 – After the Battle

There was always a sense of disconnection nagging at the back of his mind every time he came back into consciousness after a medicine-induced sleep. It felt almost as if it was the divine's way to tell him that his body still needed rest and he better went back to sleep. Yet, he thought, since when had he ever bothered to blindly follow what people called divine's way, anyway?

With an admirable effort, he forced his eyes open, only to regret his earlier decision as what seemed like overly bright sunlight greeted him. After blinking his eyes several times, he was finally able to see his surrounding better. And the first sight he focused his gaze upon was a certain man sitting at his bedside, watching over him with a smile on his face.

"Good morning," the man, his spouse, his Allen, said with a relieved tone. "Finally decided to join the living again, Yuu?"

He decided to give a snort. "They don't serve good meals for the dead."

The sound of his voice made him frown. His throat felt parched and it was uncomfortable. Allen seemed to notice his discomfort, and he was really relieved when he saw his spouse moving to pour him some water into a clear glass.

"Here, let me help," Allen said before he carefully helped him to sit propped against the head of the bed. He sighed in appreciation at the gesture, moreover when the glass of water was presented to him.

The cool water did wonder to his throat and when he tested his voice again, he was pleased to find that it was not as hoarse as earlier.

"Seeing that everything seems normal," he began. "I guess we won the battle then?"

"Rabi and Rinali were the ones who should receive the credit for that," Allen replied lightly yet the look of worry was apparent on his face. Kanda knew, he had known the other long enough to tell that. "So, how are you feeling?"

Upon being asked that question, he felt the need to sit back and contemplate for a while before answering. And it was then that the full events of those few recent days came to him. He closed his eyes as he recalled the sudden arrival of their daughter. He remembered the battle. He remembered the time when they nearly lost their child for the second time.

He released a sigh. "I guess I can say I feel so messed up."

"That's a bit of an understatement," Allen said. But his tone was serious when he spoke up again, "Lucy… she knows about us being her parents."

His frowns became deeper at that revelation. Numerous emotions were forming in his heart, surprise, worry, but mostly, concern. He questioned Allen silently and he could see his spouse seemed to be straining to explain it to him.

"You were unconscious back then, when The Millennium Earl spoke about her being an innocence, her conception, her… specialness, and she overheard it." Allen said softly. Kanda had his eyes narrowed at hearing that particular piece of information and he could feel his rage building up.

They had wanted to explain to Lucy about them being her parents. Indeed, they had wanted to do that. But now their daughter had to know such important information in such a terrible way. He could already imagine how The Millennium Earl would have phrased his explanation on Lucy's so-called 'specialness' and he knew he did not like it. To think that their daughter needed to know her heritage from that Akuma freak of all people…

"That fucking piece of meaty ass!" he said crossly.

It seemed that Allen shared the very same sentiment regarding the so called 'fucking piece of meaty ass', if his sigh was any indication. "I had no time to explain anything further to her because we were still in the middle of a battle and I had to save you both. But that sounds like a lame excuse, doesn't it? I mean… we have decided to tell her the truth, indeed, but for her to know it in such a way… and I don't know what to do, how to explain. I thought we could talk about it with her carefully, not like this, and perhaps that time I was merely trying to run away from explaining it to her… I just could not. Not like that, not after she heard about her heritage like that."

"Hey…" he called softly. He reached forward until he could rest his hand on Allen's and clutch it even though such act brought a great deal of pain to his injured body. "Stop fretting."

"What if she hates us?"

"She won't," he said resolutely. "I hate to hear that she has to know it in such a way. But you said it yourself that we have decided to explain ourselves to her so we would do that. She won't instantly accept us eagerly as her parents, I know that. But I thought I have enough confidence in my own daughter that she won't hate us."

"I wish so too."

Kanda gave a gentle squeeze to the hand he was holding, the best thing he could do without seeming to hurt his body too much. It was strange. He did not recall that he was hurt that badly during the battle. But from the pain he could feel from nearly every part of his body, it seemed that his injuries were not something that could be dismissed lightly.

"Have I been out for long?" he asked.

Allen shook his head. "No. You're probably only unconscious for two days. We did move you to a safer place, though, after Rabi and Rinali managed to clean the enemies up. We have called for some back-ups. The innocence has been in safe custody of the finders. There have been no activities involving Akuma during the day you've been out. And…"

Kanda noticed the deliberate halt on Allen's explanation and realized that his spouse was having a hard time continuing his sentence. "And?"

"And I haven't told Lucy the full explanation," Allen finished. "I just feel it's only right to wait for you so we can tell her together… she's not my daughter after all, she's our daughter."

Allen, Kanda thought grimly, was not someone gifted with the ability to hide his emotion well, especially around those close to him. And with him being his spouse for nearly thirteen years, Kanda could easily see the troubled emotions behind Allen's eyes. He could see the fear there. He could see Allen's distress, no doubt caused by the so many things happened to them lately. He could see something akin to relief there but also a hint of anxiety.

He sighed and released his hold on Allen's hand. Without sparing any thought on how such act might hurt his body, he grabbed the back of Allen's neck and pulled his bewildered looking spouse to him.

There were two things that his mind registered when he managed to have Allen rests his face against his shoulder. One of them was, damn, his body hurt like hell. And the other one was, damn, he had really missed that.

"Yuu…" Allen said as he tried to move his head but Kanda would not let him. Instead, he brought Allen's face even closer to his shoulder and dropped a chaste kiss to the top of his head.

"Stop struggling, will you?" he said. "Damn, my body hurts."

"Then perhaps you would like me to move considering I only make your pain worse," Allen grumbled.

"No chance," he replied. "You stay here."

"The doctor said not to put pressure to your body…"

"Your husband says he wants you to stay," he cut Allen's sentence off. "Honestly, why are we even arguing about this?"

"Oh, I don't know," Allen sneered but he stopped struggling. "Maybe you enjoy having domestic fights with me."

"The joy of married life," he said with a dry tone, and he could hear Allen chuckling. "Feel better now?"

Allen had stopped struggling in his somewhat loose one armed embrace and his spouse had even snuggled deeper to his shoulder. A sigh, somewhere between contentment and resignation, passed from Allen's lips. And afterward, there was silence for a moment for them both to merely savour the moment together.

"I have learnt several things… many things about Lucy during these recent days," Allen said after a while. "I guess you probably want to hear it too."

"Try to change 'probably' into 'definitely' and you'll be correct," he said, but he knew he surely had a rare smile on his lips. Thinking of their daughter, their long lost daughter, who had so recently met up with them again always managed to make him feel tempted to smile.

"They named her Lucy Ellen Reinhart, do you know?" Allen wistfully said. "Ellen, her mother has explained to her, after a dear person that they knew."

"Ellen," Kanda said then snorted though he felt certain tightness in his throat. "After you."

Allen chuckled though there was also a hint of mournful sadness there.

"Lucy Ellen Reinhart," he continued, savouring the words. In his mind he could remember a certain smiling face which had in the past assisted him in his several missions. "I only know one finder in the entire organization bearing the last name Reinhart."

"Thomas Reinhart," Allen said, confirming that they both had the very same thought. "Yes… I still remember him. I remember how I used to talk to him in the past. He oftentimes brought news on Lucy for me since he frequently went to the Western Branch Headquarters. He was so kind, always so eager to share his news. I always thought of how kind he was, sharing the bits of news he could get about Lucy to me--to us."

"And of course he could get those 'bits of information' easily, considering that he's Lucy's foster father all along," he replied, remembering the past. "He's a nice man."

Allen smiled. "Yes, he's a nice man. Lucy also told me that he's a nice father figure for her and I know it's the truth. She loves him so, just like how she loves her departed mother. She had a happy life with them."

"And that's the only thing that matters," Kanda finished it for his spouse. "That was the only reason why we agreed to give her up that time, was it not? So our daughter could have a happy childhood times, a happy life, a normal life with no complication, something that we cannot give her back then."

"I know that," Allen said. "But could she accept it?"

"We will have to try to find out, right? We still owe her our explanation after all," he said. "Where is Lucy, by the way?"

"She's with Rinali," Allen answered before he added worriedly. "Are you saying that we should tell her the truth now?"

Kanda thought over that question for several moments. He thought over it well and through. Did he dare to finally reveal the story to his daughter? Could he finally stop hiding the truth from her? Would he finally able to admit that he was her father? There were so many questions but, he realized, the answers to all those questions was one and the same.

A small smile broke on his lips, and he gave his yes to Allen. They had been withholding the information from her long enough already. She had the right to know, and Kanda would make sure that his daughter got what was rightfully hers.

Allen had gone to fetch Lucy after he heard his affirmation and that left Kanda some alone moment to think. He thought over the past days before his mind wandered even further, taking into account every detail of his life ever since that fateful mission he and Allen had done thirteen years ago. Thirteen years, he thought amusedly, so many years had passed and what had started as a stupid rivalry between him and Allen had developed into a relationship of love and loyalty, what had started as a normal mission had progressed into a starting point of so many notable life changing experiences in his life, and what had been their little baby daughter had grown up into a beautiful young girl.

He greeted the aforementioned beautiful young girl when she entered the room with Allen a moment later. Lucy looked apprehensive but she returned his greeting cordially. She seemed to be better than the last time he saw her even though he still noticed the slight wince that she had when she sat on one of the chairs near his bed. Allen took his place sitting on the edge of his bed, grasping his hand as if to remind him that they were in that together, and Kanda knew it was time to start the explanation.

He had planned to tell her, true, but that did not mean that he knew exactly how to begin explaining all those well kept secrets to her. And so for several minutes after Lucy's arrival to the room, there was nothing but silence. Neither of them seemed to know how to start the conversation or where to begin. It almost felt ridiculous that Kanda decided to just go with it and talk something, anything, if only to break the silence.

But his daughter beat him to it.

"Are you really my parents?" Lucy asked softly, yet her voice sounded so loud in the silence. Her somewhat straightforward question made Kanda smirk inwardly. He thought he could definitely guess from whom she got her forthrightness.

As for the answer for her question, he thought, it was not so hard to answer. He could feel Allen's grasp on his hand tightened the slightest bit.

And he answered firmly, "Yes, we are."

"But that's…" Lucy stopped her words as if in distress before she continued. "How can that be possible?"

How could that be possible, indeed. Even after that many years had passed, Kanda could not say for sure that he understood exactly how that could be possible. It felt like a miracle back then and he had a distinct premonition that years ahead he would still think of it as a miracle.

"I would be lying if I told you I know what exactly happened until we could have you," he answered, keeping his tone gentle but firm. "But we can tell you everything that we remember and comprehend about us having you back then."

Lucy stared at him expectantly. He even could feel Allen looking at him. He took a breath, suddenly regretting why he did not ask for some painkillers first before he began the whole talking business.

"This would be quite a long story," he said, almost to himself. "And it all began that certain day when we were doing a mission roughly thirteen years ago. It was during this month too, I believe."

He glanced to Allen's direction, silently inviting him to take part in the talking. He did not want to rob his spouse's chance to explain things to their daughter. Like what they had talked with each other, they would do that together.

And Allen's smile upon receiving his somewhat discreet glance was the surest sign for him to know that his spouse cherished the invitation.

"Yes, it was November thirteen years ago, somewhere in Russia, that we had that mission," Allen said. "Our mission was to retrieve an innocence from a certain chapel there. A group of Akuma obstructed our plan and we pretty much overexerted ourselves trying to fight those Akuma on our own. I don't remember much about what exactly happened. I remember reaching out for the innocence, and then there was a blinding light before I passed out. The next moment I opened my eyes, we're already on board of the ship sailing back to the Headquarters. We thought that we had lost the innocence back then."

He stopped his narration at that point and Lucy asked, "Did you?"

Allen blinked, "Did we what?"

"Lost the innocence," she explained. "You said you had thought you lost the innocence…"

"No, we did not lose it," Kanda took it upon himself to answer their daughter's question. "But we did not know it by then. As a matter of fact, we did not know about that fact until several months later, on the exact same time when we also became aware of your existence."

"My…" Lucy seemed about to ask for further explanation before her eyes widened. A look of dawning apprehension passed on her face and Kanda noticed how she had her hands gripping the material of her dress tightly. "That man… that man back then with the Akuma… he spoke about how I was born from an innocence… is that… was that really what happened?"

"The innocence that we thought we had lost was actually residing in my body that time," Allen explained. "We don't know how it could happen or even why it happened. But a human body is not suited to hold more than one innocence at a time, or so we've been told. So it's our theory that the innocence created its own host… within my body."

Lucy lowered her face, staring intently at her lap. "So I'm not even… am I only a host for innocence?"

"No, you are not," Kanda said sternly. "You are our daughter. The innocence made it possible for us to have you. But no matter how enormous the power of innocence is, human creation still requires an important factor that involves people doing certain something."

He could hear Allen coughing discreetly and see Lucy blushing slightly after he finished his words. If the situation was not so dire, Kanda would have chuckled seeing the scene. But sadly, he still had his explanation to finish and his injured body also had been signalling him that he had to end the whole talking thing soon so that he could have his much needed rest.

He cleared his throat and continued. "That's how you were born to this world as our daughter. And it was really an amazing experience, to have you as our daughter. But even though we love you, even though we never want to be separated from you, reality had different opinion on that matter.

"The organization had arranged ever since the very first time they became aware of your existence that you should be taken under their care as soon as you were born. You are a child born from the grace of innocence so you have a high potential to be an exorcist, and I have seen it with my own eyes that you have a potential to be one very great exorcist indeed. I tried not to let them take you away from us so soon and I somewhat succeeded, or rather, Cross and I somehow managed to do that."

"You were with us until your first birthday," Allen continued the tale. "But I think you wouldn't remember those times, you're too little to remember. After that we trusted your care to your foster parents, not because we don't love you but because… because we thought it was the best for you… at least that time we thought it was for the best. We wished that you might get a happy and normal childhood, but we knew that you would not have that with us, no matter how much we wished for you to stay with us forever. The Headquarters was really not a suitable place to raise a child and we're most often than not away to do our mission so that the idea of raising a child seemed nearly impossible.

"We might sound like we're making excuses now. And maybe indeed we're making excuses. Maybe we've been wrong in thinking it was the best for you. Maybe we should have tried to protect you more, you and your foster parents, in whatever way we could. But Lucy… you asked if you were an unwanted child and now I answer you: no, you are not an unwanted child. You are loved by so many people and we never lied when we said that we love you."

Allen's words rang earnest and true for his ears and he did not doubt that Lucy too would never doubt his words. His spouse was indeed more gifted for words than him, Kanda mused fondly as he let his gaze directed to Lucy's face, trying to figure out what she might be thinking or feeling about the revelation so far. He had been a bit worried that she might have a hard time accepting the truth yet for all he could see, their Lucy seemed to take it nicely. She seemed to be able to keep herself composed and calm for her most part. She even was still able to look at them directly on their eyes.

"When I went to Headquarters years back, did you recognize me?" she asked.

"We did," Kanda answered honestly. "And we were thankful for that brief moment during which we could see you again."

"I guess I could somehow understand, then, why my father said it was really a happy coincidence when I told him about my meeting with you," she said with a faraway look on her face as she seemed to recall the past. Kanda could see it on Lucy's face. The way her eyes seemed to hold a sense of melancholy told him that she was at that moment remembering her happy childhood days with her parents when they were still alive, when she was no more than a girl with loving parents doting over her, unmindful of the complicated and somewhat tragic aspects of her life.

It felt too cruel that she had to have those peaceful life robbed away from her during a short span of time like that.

"We're sorry about your parents," he said carefully. "We knew your father, had been working with him several times in the past."

"He often informed us about you," Allen joined in, his voice was wistful. "We did not know that he was your foster father, the organization didn't let us know the identity of your foster parents. And your father was also under an oath, we believe, to keep it a secret from us and from you too."

"But in the end my father told me," Lucy said. "In the end, yes."

He did not know how to reply to that statement and he observed how Allen too kept his silence after hearing their daughter's sentence. Silence dawned upon them again, just like how it was before he began his explanation. But the silence was not uncomfortable, no, far from that. If he was even more daring he could even say that the silence was welcomed.

Perhaps it was because he knew that one needed to think in silence after such a big disclosure being revelled to them. He knew the feeling. He had been there too when his mentor, General Theodore, first explained to him the news about the death that took everyone from his household except him. He remembered his grief, his determination, his feeling of confusion that he experienced back then.

Yes, he remembered it. And he too still remembered the exact question that General Theodore had asked him after he gave him his moment of silence. So, looking somewhat tenderly at his daughter, he allowed the very same question pass from his lips.

"What are you going to do now?"

The silence dragged on for a moment longer before those grey eyes that never failed to remind him of Allen's own eyes stared at him.

She said, "I will become an exorcist."

There was a small smile on her lips, even though it still held a hint of sadness, as she looked at him and Allen both, unblinking, and continued her words.

"I will become an exorcist not because it's what has been destined for me but because I want it," she said. "I will move forward not because I'm afraid of going back but because I have so many people supporting me to go on. But for now…"

Noticing how Lucy stopped her sentence halfway, Allen asked, "For now?"

There were tears in Lucy's eyes but the small smile she had persisted when she said, "I want to mourn my parents… I want to mourn them properly…"

Their daughter, Kanda thought fondly, their Lucy was really a brave young girl. To see that glint of determination in her eyes, the eyes of their daughter who was so young yet also so much of an adult already, Kanda felt really proud of her. He loved her, he thought with warmth spreading in his heart. He loved her and he was proud of her.

Their Lucy would be okay. It might take time for every wound needed time to heal. But they would be there for her and he knew that everything would be fine, somehow, someday.

"Do that," he said. "They deserve your respects."

Lucy looked at him then and a flush of something akin to embarrassment swept over her face. "I'm sorry, but… I mean, I am thankful that you have told me about the truth… about me and my parents and… and you. I believe you, I believe everything you said, but it's still new for me."

Allen was quick to take on the situation and he hastily said, "We understand. Don't force yourself and don't feel bad about it. We know… it must be hard for you to be informed of all these things so suddenly like this."

"We just want you to know the truth," Kanda said. "And we also want you to know that we would be there for you, we promise you. You are not alone. You will never be alone."

Lucy smiled sincerely at them both. "Thank you. Thank you for telling me the truth. And also thank you… for everything."

Somehow Kanda could hear the unspoken statement that followed those words. Somehow he could hear it clearly as if Lucy was saying them out loud.

'_Thank you for telling me that I'm loved'_

'_Thank you for telling me that I will not be alone'_

'_Thank you for giving me time'_

'_Thank you for promising me that you'll be there for me'_

He knew that none of those sentences was really spoken out loud but he could sense it, hear it, nonetheless. And he was content with that. They had finally unveiled the secrets that they had kept for Lucy's sake along those years. They had finally unburdened themselves with those sacrifices they made in the past to ensure Lucy's happiness and safety.

He offered a silent prayer for the late Thomas Reinhart and his wife. He promised himself to pay his respect to their grave someday soon. They had taken care of Lucy, protected her, raised her, and loved her when they could not do that with her. But their Lucy was back to them, back as their daughter, as their family. It was his happiness.

Thus when Rinali knocked on his door and informed about lunch, he could not help to tell her to just go without them or send the meals to his room. Allen too voiced his agreement on that and even Lucy was telling her 'Aunt Rinali' that she still had several things she'd like to talk about with her 'Uncle Allen' and 'Uncle Yuu'. All in all, it seemed that none of them really had the need to leave each other's company for any time soon. But who could blame them?

They were, after all, having their first family gathering after years of separation.

- end -

(A/N: so… yeah… sorry that this chapter took so long to finish. But we managed to finish it during _this _week. That should count as an accomplishment (sweat). Anyway, we hope you had a good time reading. We wish to hear your reviews, as always. And also, we would like to announce that we've written some prequel to Secrets and Sacrifices. It took place between the end of Shattered Innocence and the immediate beginning of Secrets and Sacrifices. We post the prequel in our writing journal in livejournal, you can see the link in our profile page, and we would be forever honoured if you would spare a bit of your time to read it. Sorry that we cannot post it in this site due to the fact that the prequel is dealing with Lucy and her family, meaning pure original characters with only slight connection to canon that we presume should not be posted into a fanfiction site. And we've rambled enough, it seems. Thank you for reading and we hope to see you again next chapter.)


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